8 Ways to Really Help a Friend in Need

8 Ways to Really Help a Friend in Need

⌄ Scroll down to continue ⌄ When a friend is going through a difficult time, it’s natural to want to help, but it’s not always easy to know how. Think about occasions where you’ve been in need yourself – what did your friends do? What did you find the most helpful? Some friends may have

When a friend is going through a difficult time, it’s natural to want to help, but it’s not always easy to know how. Think about occasions where you’ve been in need yourself – what did your friends do? What did you find the most helpful? Some friends may have kept their distance and perhaps you felt hurt by that, but it could be that they really didn’t know what to say or do, or they simply assumed you would ask if you needed anything. It can be hard whichever side you’re on, whether you’re the one needing help, or the one offering it.

Here are eight ways that you can really help a friend in need.

1. Be Specific in Your Offers of Help

Vague comments like “Let me know if there’s anything I can do” are not likely to be taken up. Most people find it hard to ask for help, so telling them to let you know if they need anything is putting the onus back on them to ask. Often when people are going through difficult times, even everyday tasks can feel too much. So aside from offering them a shoulder to cry on, think about what practical help you can offer, and suggest specific things. For example “I’m going to the supermarket now, would you like to give me your list and I can pick up some things for you while I’m there?” Specific offers like that are more likely to be taken up.

2. Don’t Force Your Help on Them

Offer your help, but if they decline, then accept that. If you keep insisting you might make them feel worse. It may be that they have never really needed help before, or have been brought up to believe that they should be able to manage, no matter what. Or maybe they genuinely don’t want or need your help. That doesn’t mean you don’t offer to help again, it’s simply about being sensitive, and respecting what they say about their needs at the time.

3. Only Offer Help That You Are Genuinely Able to Give

Think carefully about what help you offer. In a hasty moment when your friend is very upset, it’s normal to want to make everything alright for them, but reflect a little about the realities of what you’re offering before you open your mouth. Not following through on what you’ve offered, or doing something grudgingly, is worse than not offering at all; your friend will feel let down, and you will feel wretched.

4. Don’t Assume You Know What’s Best For Them

However they are struggling, your friend that is suffering is still an adult and needs to make their own decisions. When people are going through difficult times, they may feel that much of what is happening to them is out of their control. If you attempt to take over everything, you’re adding to their loss of control. What might have been the best thing for you when you were going through a difficult time isn’t necessarily what is best for them. Be guided by them, if they want you to take charge of things, or make decisions for them, then fine, but that’s their choice not yours. The exception to this is if you are concerned that they may harm themselves, or others, in which case you will probably need to seek appropriate help for them, even if they don’t want it.

5. Remember That Small Thoughtful Gestures Go a Long Way

You may be limited in what you can do to help because of your own commitments, or for financial or geographical reasons, but don’t underestimate the value of small gestures. A card in the mail to let them know that you’re thinking of them can mean a lot, or a voicemail message to remind them you’re at the end of the phone if they want to talk is great for the friend to have. Perhaps you could do a bit of research on organizations or support groups that may be able to help, and email those details to your friend. Whatever your own situation, there will be small thoughtful things you can do to help which will probably be of greater value than you imagine.

6. Be Someone They Can Trust

Avoid sharing details of their situation with other friends unless they have given you permission. Your intentions might be good in talking it through with others, but your friend may have been telling you things in confidence, and will then feel you have broken their trust. They don’t need the added burden of feeling hurt and let down by you on top of whatever else they are going through.

7. Listen More Than Talk

If you’re usually more of a talker than a listener, now is the time to hold back. Avoid repeatedly giving your opinion on their situation unless they ask for it. Be guided by them, they may want to just offload to a sympathetic ear, or they may want you to offer suggestions. It’s best if you can keep your own emotions under control, you may feel upset or angry about what your friend is having to deal with, but you will be more help to them if you can remain calm as you listen. This will help them feel that you are dependable and a rock for them.

8. Help Them to See a Brighter Future

Depending on their situation, your friend may be finding it hard to imagine a time where they won’t feel like they currently do. Gently help them to look beyond that by giving them things to look forward to, simple things like an evening out. When you feel they’re ready, begin to talk positively with them about plans for the future. Again, be guided by your friend here, if they seem open to what you’re saying, then go with it, if they shut down then back off and try again another time. The most important thing is for them to know that you are there for them, now, and as they move forward into the future.

Keyword: help friend
helping a friend in need
help for friends
how to help a friend
help from a friend
how to offer help to a friend
helping a friend
help a friend
helping my friend
how to support a friend
help friends
anything to help my friends
supporting a friend
friend helping
support a friend
friend helping friend
my friend needs help
friend help
how not to help a friend in need
you really needed help
how to help someone in need
friendship helping
how to offer help to someone
support for friend
in need of friends
what to say to support a friend
is there anything i can do to help
friends help
when a friend asks for help you help them
be of help
if there’s anything i can do
friend in need
in need of a friend
a friend in need
friends in need
if there is anything i can do
is there anything i can help you with
i really need help
your the only friend i need
ur the only friend i need
i have been and shall always be your friend
i can be of help
need a friend
friend helping friends
offering help example
help someone in need
my friends all say i give the best advise.
i’m here if you need anything
how do you help
needs your help
i dont need your help
friends only when they need you
friends really
how to help.someone
if you need a friend
how are you my friend
how can we help you
offering help
what can i help you
i can help with that
being there for someone when they need you
anything for a friend
let me know if there’s anything i can do
need your help
why is it hard for me to ask for help
find my help a friend
in need help
let me know if i can be of help
not really a friend
offers to help
friends are there to help you
why is it hard to ask for help
why is it so hard to ask for help
how to get back a friend
if you need anything let me know
is there anything else i can help you with
let me know if there is anything i can do
where was you when i needed your help
example of offering help
i can help you with that
things to say to ur friend
be there for people
i don’t want 2 be your friend
how to help people in need
what i can help you
let me know if you need help with anything
what to do to help
friend not there in time of need
telling a friend
helping friend
how to let a friend go
if you need anything
let me know how i can help
friend only talks about her problems

Reference: https://www.lifehack.org/280700/8-ways-really-help-friend-need